Episode 214. How To Be Awesome At Being A Present Mom & Also Having Your Own Identity

Today we are talking about how to be a present mom to your kids and also maintain your own identity. 
You know, that person you were before you had kids.  There is so much to do when you have kids, it’s very easy for mom things to take up all your time.  Without realizing it, it’s easy to slowly stop doing the hobbies you love or spending time your friends without your kids.  
We’re talking about this today because we don’t want to wake up one day and not know who we actually ARE because our entire identity has been wrapped up in the people that we care for.  
There are so many layers to the importance of maintaining your own identity and not feeling guilty about it.  One thing I know for sure is we are all the best moms we can be, when we are truly happy.  That means taking time for yourself, not trying to live up to the expectations of others or trying so hard to make your life look a certain way.
Plus, how great for our kids to see us not only as the people are raising them, but also our own individual awesome selves too who have interests and hobbies and friends and sometimes careers.  We will do anything for them and we love them with everything that we are but there’s more to us than just our role as mothers. 
Today we’re talking about how the hell we’re going to raise these humans and also have our own awesome individual identity too.  
-You’re not just a mom - you are so many things.  Maybe that means you stepped away from your career.  But if you think of yourself as “just a mom” you’re discrediting all the other layers there are to you. 
Even if you don’t work outside the home for pay- you are so much more than a mom.  By taking away that “just a mom” label… it opens you up to all the things that you are beyond motherhood. 
-You have to give yourself grace - and know that some days you’ll fail and some days you’ll nail it. 
-Be honest with yourself and your shortcomings - rather than trying to be perfect. You will relate to more friends and it takes the pressure off. 
-It’s very easy to slowly change your personal identity to one that is solely being a mother.
-When you are truly happy, you are the best mom.  

-What to do when you’ve lost this balance 
Lean into how you feel.
Journal it - instead of or in addition to telling friends. 
Who were you before you were there mom?
She is still there 
If your only identify is in relation to who you are for other people 
-For new moms - you have to figure out your way of doing it.  It will change through ages and stages. 
-Make sure your priorities are actually YOUR priorities. 
-We have to let go of trying to make our life look a certain way 
-And let go of that pressure to live up to other peoples standards 
-Let me tell you the honest truth- some days it’s a shit show and some days it’s smooth for ALL OF US.  Whatever you are going through, the majority of moms have gone through some version of it at some point.
-If you always look a certain way and your kids are dressed a certain way, you will feel like you have your shit together because people will view you that way. 
-And some of us are better at certain types of parenting and not as much at others. 

 

-You are a mom AND… 
like… I’m a mom AND I was a CEO for 20 years 
-We are raising kids to LAUNCH! 
We aren’t raising people to take care of forever. 
-We don’t want them to just see us living for them. 

-And we don’t want kids who have everything given to them - to feel like you live for them. 
-What is this going to do to the kids if you work? 
We don’t want them to only know us to take care of them. 
-That is how we lose ourselves.  We forget what we like, what our hobbies are. 
You could wake up one day… and not know WHO you actually ARE. 
-When your kids move out, you will feel lost.
-We want our kids to be their own people. 
KNOW and recognize when you are off balance.  And running on low energy. 
-Say to your kids.. I need time for me.  
-Makes your kids respect you more too. 
This and so much more on today’s episode.  We hope it inspires you to keep your own happiness and identity a priority as you navigate through this awesome journey of motherhood.