It is so easy to get into a funk… And I think most of the time it’s because we’re not being hyper aware about our mindset and working to adjust things when they feel off. Prioritizing that above other things.
It might mean canceling plans or hibernating for a little bit so you can re-calibrate and come back into the world feeling good and strong - with a clear and happy mind.
Over the last few weeks, I have spent so much time in the hospital with Craig in the areas of the hospital where many of the patients are in bad shape. And then I come home and I am working to help my kids deal with their emotions and state of mind in the healthiest way we know how.
And the way I’ve been able to do this… Through all the ups and downs, and uncertainty… Is by knowing that the state of mine, that I am in… Is literally everything.
The night before he went in for the most recent big surgery… before we were going to bed… I had all of the kids sleeping in my bed, and Craig was in the hospital… And sweet little Parker who I think has taken all of this, the hardest this go round… Was asking me questions like… If someone goes to heaven, can you text them there?
Things that just tear at your insides… Because I know in reality the surgeries are so risky and every time we have an episode he has more scar tissue and at 51 years old we are really dealing with what is usually 80-year-old problems. It’s all very heavy and there is a lot of stress and worry.
But when I find myself thinking… If the worst case happened… How would I even get off the floor… And I picture myself crying on the floor… And then I tell myself…
We’re actually going to control our thoughts and we’re not going to allow THAT.
I’m a big believer and you have to feel all the feelings and not suppressed things. So it’s a fine balance, of course. But it’s a matter of not allowing yourself to give effort towards something that you can’t change. And I think a lot of us to do this in little ways all the time
Maybe you feel like a coworker has it out for you and you think they think this is this about you but in reality you’ll never really know. And also… Their opinion of you just doesn’t matter. In the long game… It’s a relevant. So it’s a matter of controlling your mindset and not giving energy to things that you can’t change by worrying about it.
The other side of this… Is recognizing how you feel and figuring out what you need to get back to happy.
If you are super annoyed or irritated, or in a negative mood… rather than still living through all the things you need to do that day… I think it is so much more beneficial to pull back and figure out what you need to get your mind right again.
It would be much better to not get the grocery shopping done that day, then to go to a crowded grocery store. Will likely get more irritated because you walked in there super irritated.
And you will just have overall better interactions with everyone in your life.
Often times when we have arguments or disputes with people it’s not actually about something that happened with them… it’s about the state of mind that we were in when we entered the encounter.
So let’s talk about actual action items we can do when we know we need a mind reset.
One of the things that I think works the very best is to pick a song or create a playlist. I have a playlist on my Spotify called Unstoppable and it’s about 10 of my favorite songs that get me in a good mindset. Some of them apply more to different emotions, but in general for me, it’s about getting the emotions out… Thinking through it working through it and then getting back to a happy and STRONG Place.
First one on the playlist is girl on fire by Alicia Keys.
It was the first song I put on when I was driving to the hospital to pick up Craig on the day he was able to come home from Cedars in LA… And it was the first time I had a really good cry about all of it… And it lasted three minutes.
Not because I didn’t have any more emotions but because that was enough. That was what I needed to feel the emotions and then move on from this song and get back to my happy and STRONG headspace.
I love love love music as a tool for this.
Another great way to do it is journaling. Write down all the things… All the feelings and emotions and get it all out.
And then after you do that… I think you should get outside or do a work out… A physical change is the best way to get a mental change. So maybe it’s journal or listen to a song or cry or whatever it is and then go move your body. To change up the situation. There’s literally a 0% chance you won’t feel at least a little bit better after doing the metal work and then the physical work.
The key to all of this is to understanding that this is your top priority every day. To manage your headspace means you manage your life. And you keep a continuous pulse on how you’re feeling… So you don’t wake up one day in this massive funk or depression, because every day, you are hyper aware of how you feel and when you’re off work to fix it.
I hope this episode made you really stop and think about the importance of your state of mind and how you can actively attend to it every day for an overall happier life.
Thank you so much for listening!