198. How To Be Awesome At Giving People The Benefit Of A Doubt

Lindsay tells the story…

"This past weekend as we were leaving a mother daughter luncheon, I was bending down to pickup all the things my girls had collected through the day and I looked up to see 3 moms looking at me then turn away quickly.  I was like that was crazy- they were clearly talking about me… so I processed for a second and picked up the rest of my things and turned to go and the same thing happened again.  They all sort of had the same nervous look and looked away real quick- no smiles… I was oh my gosh again, what were they saying about me??

And then I took a breath and as hard as it is in that moment, I thought, maybe they were saying something nice.  And if they weren’t, it’s their issue, not mine.  My husband first taught me this years ago when a similar thing happened when we were walking to dinner together and he’s like, maybe they like your shoes.  And I was like… uh, did you see their look, I don’t thinkkkk so.  But here’s the thing… if you’re not going to go up and ask them and even if you do, you’ll likely never know what they were saying.  

So your option is to accept that they were talking badly about you and spend the rest of the day talking about it and contemplating what they could be saying- my dress was too tight or who knows. OR, you can decide, I’m going to give them the benefit of the doubt and assume they were saying something nice OR they weren’t and it’s there issue not mine."

Because we know… you can’t control what happens to you but you can control how you react to it and how you interpret it.

-We are talking about giving people the benefit of the doubt in this episode.

-Have you ever had anything like this happen?
We immediately think of our insecurities and decide that MUST be what they are talking about.  We will never know!

-When this happens - it can go one of 2 ways!!

-Giving people the benefit of the doubt does 2 things- makes you walk around the world thinking people are good

-And in those moments when they aren’t … maybe they have some crazy stuff going on!

-And if thats not the case- then how sad that they have to go home and live with it.
Or they haven’t been able to work through their issues yet.  Whatever it is!  Jealousy or insecurity …

-Same with comments in social media

-You must protect your headspace!  You CHOOSE if you let it in or not!   

Giving people the benefit of the doubt is as much for you as it is for them.  We hope this podcast inspires you next time you’re in a situation like this to give them the benefit of a doubt and protect your headspace.  CHEERS!