183. How To Be Awesome At Learning From Your Jealous Moments
Lindsay tells this story to set the tone for this episode.
A few weeks ago I as running my favorite stairs. It was cold out and the fresh air felt so good and I had a full hour of alone time and my plan was to not think about a million things… just get outside and listen to loud music and sweat.
Well that all changed when at the top of the stairs there were two teenagers passionately kissing on the bench. I did a few laps and they were still there, and did a few more and they were still there and I was like Jesus these kids should be in school… I’m sure their parents don’t know they are ditching… and I mean how long can you kiss outside???
And then I was like… these judgey thoughts are more like jealously really than anything. How nice it must be to be young and not have this crazy complicated life with lots of kids and not a lot of daytime passionate kissing moments.
Here’s the lesson I wish I would have learned sooner.
When you feel jealous, lean into it.
I think it’s almost always either you should take a step back from someone or unfollow them if they don’t make you feel great about yourself… OR… maybe it’s a reflection of something you wish you had in your life. And there is so much to learn from that.
Other key points in this podcast:
-HUGE part of this is realizing jealously is normal and we can make it a positive. Be honest and vulnerable and lean into it- even talk about it.
-Who cares about the other person… what do these feelings mean to YOU?
-Maybe they mean associating with someone or consuming their content doesn’t make you feel good and it’s time to make a change. Or maybeee it’s a reflection of something you wish you had in your life. And there is so much to learn from that. Let’s go!
-I now see it as the best learning lesson- about who I am at this moment and what I need more of.
- Realize there’s enough for everyone!!
Abundance mindset vs. scarcity mindset. Someone else’s win doesn’t take away from you having a win!!
Makes it easier to celebrate them!
Think about this with friends accomplishments.
Realize we are all different and some of us have accomplishments that aren’t considered traditional or celebrated in the light of day or on stages.
The best part about some forms of jealousy is you can learn from people who have made it in your mind!! If someone else has done it, so can you!!
If someone did it, it means it’s possible.
And with social media and YouTube and everything else… you can watch what these people do and learn from them! Create your own path but use what you learn from them to make it easier and save time getting there.
-Use jealously to get your act together. It can be a reminder of a dream you had or a goal that you put on the back burner.
-Don’t discredit others achievements. Very few people just get lucky. It likely took hard work to get there. Start with small doable steps to get what you want. Let go of what’s not working.
-Sometimes we feel jealous but if we really think about it - it’s not actually what we want. Maybe its due to peer pressure or what society or family things we sh9uld do or be. Maybe a big house and a fancy car don’t equal a fulfilling and purposeful life for you. What makes one person happy - and can seem like the ticket to happiness - might not actually be for you.
-Realize that another persons success doesn’t make you a failure.
This is HUGE for me with business.
We all make different decisions and they all come at a price.
Also- we all have different timelines. Babies, marriage, careers.
The race is long, you can start today.
-We get jealous because we compare ourselves on some level
-Jealously only exists by comparison on some level
-Someone can always beat you on some level.
-You can think you’re gorgeous then see someone who is even prettier and also taller and tanner!
Then you see yourself as insignificant.
-Like doing this podcast - I can feel like I’m doing something cool and having these great growth conversations in DMs and then I’ll see a podcast who has like a bazillion times the audience and it’s so easy to be like why am I even trying I’m like so insignificant here.
But it’s that comparison thing that will kill dreams.
-It comes from moments when we feel inferior.
-Someone is always going to beat you in some category. Someone can teach people more or is taller or has more money or better vacations.
-Try to focus on becoming the person who can do lots of things well. The things that are important to you.
The amount of positive energy you put out in the world, the things you can do and achieve.
CHEERS!! To turning jealously into a way to find your most purposeful and fulfilling life.