Episode 112: How To Be Awesome At Not Being A People Pleaser
On today's show, Lindsay talks about how to get out of the cycle of trying to please everyone around you. It’s so easy to be completely consumed with trying to gain the approval of others. And to want everyone that you come in contact with to think you are a “good person” or an “awesome mom” or a “great employee” or whatever it is. But in this, often we end up needing other people's validation in order to feel worthwhile and loved.
On this podcast channel, Lindsay talks all the time about productivity tips. But the truth is - if you struggle with this at all - the most effective way to reclaim control of your life is to begin to accept who you truly are, and to express yourself in the most authentic way possible.
No facades to please others. No settling for less. No apologies. Just being who you are and doing what you want. Because here’s the thing… it’s just a colossal waste of time.
Allowing other people to determine how you operate my life is incredibly inefficient, but even worse, it can result in a lot of unhealthy behaviors that Lindsay outlines in this episode. Behaviors like…
1. No boundaries. No idea how to say no.
3. Put yourself last
4. Expect others to return the favor
5. Holding yourself back.
6. Living in fear.
So many people feel like happiness is just out of reach throughout most of their life, but don't know why. Once you figure it out – it can change everything for you.
One of the first steps to becoming authentic is to allow yourself to take an honest look at who you really are, without the filter of others’ opinions.
As you go through this process, Lindsay explains that you may learn these lessons…
1. No one is perfect. Strive for excellence instead of perfection.
2. Learn to embrace the messiness and the vulnerability of real life.
3. You can open up and be vulnerable with your flaws and strengths and opinions.
4. You learn how to utilize your “bad” traits in a healthy way, instead of constantly trying to deny, avoid or run away from them.
5. You boundaries with others and stop doing things out of obligation.
6. You stop expecting others to meet your needs too.
7. You learn that trying to be everything to everybody isn't going to get you anywhere.
8. You stop trying to pretend you’re something you’re not. Accept your shortcomings and stop judging yourself for not having it all figured out.
9. You'll compassion for others who were also struggling.
10. You’ll stop trying to control situations to avoid confrontation.
Lindsay shares all sorts of strategies and tips for moving away from suppressing who you really area and focusing on expressing yourself in the most authentic way possible.
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