Episode 101: How To be Awesome At Saying "I'm Sorry"

How To be Awesome At Saying "I'm Sorry"

Today on the podcast, we’re talking about two simple words that can be oh so hard to say.

I’m sorry. 

But really, why is that? 

We are all human, we are going to make mistakes and we can’t avoid saying “I’m sorry” because we have so much ego wrapped up in not being wrong.  

It’s like you’re owning up to whatever happened, you’re acknowledging your fault it in and you allow the person to move on and you allow yourself to move on too.

Lindsay has done podcasts on forgiveness before but this one is a little different.  It’s all about establishing a relationship with words “I’m sorry.”  It often can’t change what happened, but it can change how long it goes on, or the resentment attached to it and also… it shows that you are being upfront and honest and vulnerable in the best way. 

We’re talking all about the I’m sorry’s today!

Here are some of the points Lindsay covers:

  • When to say I”m sorry, what to say, what not to say…. and what does a proper apology even look like? 
  •  In business and in life… it’s a sign of strength not weakness.
  • It's hard because we get defensive.
  • When you’re sort of ashamed - its hard to continue. 
  • When you know that you’ve wronged somebody- you just feel like something isn't right. Like a rock in your shoe.
  • A weight is lifted once you apologize.
  • You take responsibility - and you’re less likely to do it again.
  • Even if they havent fully forgiven you - you’ve done your part.
  • If they do forgive you- that's even better.
  • It's like a deep cleaning at the dentist.
  •  Don’t say… Im sorry that you felt that way- that isn't sincere.
  • An apology is when you apologize for your action -not the result of that action 
  • That is what taking ownership looks like 
  • It's vulnerable and raw - dont play the victim though
  • Past, Present, Future
  • Listen I messed up - past 
  • Im very sorry - present 
  • And I will try my hardest not to do it again - future
  • Now how can I make the present moment better?  FORWARD MOMENTUM 
  • This is so much better than sitting guilt, shame and vicim mentality. 
  • You aren't indebted to anyone else.
  • Ask yourself- do you want to stay stuck or do you want to move forward?
  • You can liberate yourself!!
  • Be grateful for the lesson and move forward
  • Some people have a hard time forgiving ourselves and other people have a hard time forgiving others.
  • We’ve all made plenty of bad decisions - and hurt other people in some way 
  • And promise to be more mindful and try not to do it again or something you didnt do or overlooked.
  • Not forgiving is a form of self imprisonment. 
  • It takes a lot of your own self love to apologize.
  • I'm still a good friend - I’m going to own that and I’m going to apologize.
  • It doesn't mean that you’re any less of a person - you cant get down on yourself and run yourself down 
  • It's great for your self esteem!!
  • Sometimes - it’s just saying I’m sorry is enough.
  • We need to try not to always rationalize ourself within that. 
  • ALSO- the correct way to accept an apology. 
  • When the person is ready to apologize, stop putting your foot on the gas and keep going with it. 
  • With kids- it's SO important.
  • We cant add SHAME into how we teach our kids to apologize 
  • We need to make it easy- not hard for them to apolozie - you know how we are like - SAY YOU'RE SORRY RIGHT NOW!!! 
  • These kids havent been molded by society - we learned these habits- let's break the cycle and learn a new cycle 
  • Today can be day one- dont regret it or beat yourself up.  Just think of this as a new start.  You know better and you do better. 
  • When saying I’m sorry with your spouse… research says men listen for 3 sentences.  So plan what you want out of the conversation.  DO you want an action to be taken? Do you want to be heard? Do you want an apology? 
  • Do you want them to do something differently?  Know going into it … 
  • "It really hurt my feelings when you said that comment."
  • THEN YOU STOP TALKING - you have their attention.
  • You cant expect the person to have the perfect response.
  • It might take her time to reflect and digest and come back to you.
  • Know that you got it off your chest - and your side of the conversation feels good.
  • You cant expect them to give you exactly what you are looking for 
  • You knew you were coming in with this conversation - they could be surprised by it.
  • And often times people are defensive - and you have to be ready for that. 
  • Allow them space to come back to you if you feel like thats needed.  It might not be solved at that moment. 

Being able to say “I’m sorry” is just so good for you, and good for the people you love.  Cheers to healthy, happy apologies!

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