365. Three Mantras I'm Living By At 45

I am recording this on my 45th birthday… the idea of being halfway to 90 is absolutely crazy (because I feel like I’m 25) but also so empowering because the reality is we don’t have unlimited time.  To experience the things, travel to the places, laugh without stress, feel calm in our space, love with everything we’ve got…

Today I’m sharing the three things that I think & say the most at this point in life…
HOW LUCKY ARE WE
F NORMAL I WANT MAGIC
and
NEVER QUIT SO IT’S IMPOSSIBLE TO LOSE

So much of adulting is about our responsibilities and I think it’s so important to really be intentional about how we spend our minutes, the kind of person we want to be and ultimately the kind of life we want to build.  Let’s do it together today.


It’s the perfect time for me personally to take an audit of how much that I’m doing is actually living?  Because one thing I know for sure is that I do not want to become incredibly good at living a life I never actually wanted.


This birthday has made me think about what I want those next 45 years to look like. How I want to feel, what I want to experience, the example I want to set for my kids, and the kind of life I want to create.

Because one thing I know for sure is that I don’t want to become incredibly good at living a life I never actually wanted.

It’s possible to have everything look great on paper, to be productive, responsible, successful, and busy, but not feel particularly happy, free, excited, or fulfilled.

We get so good at managing our lives that sometimes we forget to ask whether we’re living the lives we actually want.

And I think that’s one of the biggest dangers of adulthood.

We fall into routines. We follow expectations. We become efficient at getting everything done.

But are we actually living?

I don’t want to spend the next 45 years simply getting better at managing my responsibilities.

I want to spend them getting better at living.

And I’ve narrowed down how I want to approach this next chapter into three mantras.

How lucky are we.
F normal. I want magic.
Never quit, so it’s impossible to lose.

These three ideas represent the kind of person I want to be and the kind of life I want to build.

⸻

HOW LUCKY ARE WE

The ability to recognize how extraordinary ordinary life really is.

The things we take for granted are often our greatest luxuries.
A refrigerator covered in our children’s artwork.
A loud, busy house filled with people we love.
Having parents who are healthy enough to visit.
A home-cooked meal and dishes in the sink afterward.
A warm summer night.
A good night’s sleep.
Fresh fruit, clean water, and food that nourishes us.
Kids who still want us to watch them do things.
Being healthy enough to go for a walk, exercise, or spend a beautiful day outside.
How lucky are we that we even get to do hard things?
The hard workout that challenges us.
The early morning when we get to wake up and chase a goal.
The stressful opportunity to build a business.
The busy afternoon driving our children to activities they love.
The challenge of learning something completely new.
The privilege of having goals that excite us enough to work hard for them.
The shift from “I have to” to “I get to.”
I don’t have to work out. I get to move my body.
I don’t have to take my kids somewhere. I get to be part of their childhood.
I don’t have to work on my business. I get to create something of my own.
I don’t have to start over. I get another opportunity to try again.
We can experience the exact same circumstances completely differently depending on what we focus on.
The things we complain about today may be the things we desperately miss one day.
Our ordinary routines may be someone else’s greatest dream.
We can spend our days noticing what’s inconvenient or noticing what’s incredible.
Stop waiting for special occasions to enjoy your life.
The weather doesn’t have to be perfect to spend time outside.
You don’t need to be on vacation to have an amazing day.
You don’t need a special occasion to make a memory.
The ordinary Tuesday deserves just as much appreciation as the big milestone.
Gratitude and ambition are not opposites.
You can be incredibly grateful for what you have and still want to create more.
You can appreciate your life while also recognizing areas you want to change.
Gratitude should make life richer, not make you feel guilty for dreaming bigger.

The big takeaway:

We are living in the days we will eventually wish we could have back.

Don’t wait until something is gone to recognize how lucky you were to have it.

How lucky are we to get another day, another chance, another experience, and another opportunity to enjoy this incredible life?

⸻

F NORMAL. I WANT MAGIC.

Stop becoming good at tolerating a life you don’t actually want.

One of the scariest things is realizing you can be successful at living the wrong life.
You can pay all the bills.
Keep the house running.
Show up to every obligation.
Answer every email.
Maintain a great career.
Have a calendar full of responsibilities.
Be incredibly productive.
And still feel like something important is missing.
Productivity is not the same as fulfillment.
Being busy doesn’t necessarily mean you’re doing anything meaningful.
Having an efficient schedule doesn’t help much if it’s filled with things you don’t want to be doing.
We can become so good at keeping up with our responsibilities that we stop questioning them.
Sometimes we don’t need a better routine. We need a different direction.
Think about the traditional version of a successful life.
Wake up before you want to.
Sit in traffic.
Spend most of the daylight working somewhere you don’t particularly want to be.
Drive home in traffic.
Handle chores and responsibilities.
Feel too exhausted to do the things you actually enjoy.
Go to sleep and repeat.
Do this five days a week and call it productivity.
Do it for decades and call it success.
But what if that isn’t the life you want?
Just because something is normal doesn’t mean it makes sense for you.
Why do we work the way we work?
Why do we educate kids the way we educate kids?
Why do we structure our days around obligations instead of experiences?
Why do we wait until retirement to prioritize freedom?
Why do we assume aging means slowing down?
Who decided what a successful life is supposed to look like?
We are living in one of the most exciting times in history to question everything.
AI and technology are opening up entirely new ways to learn, work, and create.
There are opportunities to build businesses and income streams that didn’t exist a few years ago.
We have access to incredible information, resources, and experiences.
We can design more flexible lifestyles.
We can learn new skills at any age.
We don’t have to automatically accept systems just because they’ve existed for decades.
One of life’s greatest freedoms is recognizing that you can change direction.
You can wake up and decide you’re done doing something a certain way.
You can create a new routine.
You can start a business.
You can change your environment.
You can redefine success.
You can stop saying yes to things that don’t matter.
You can make a different decision about how you want to spend your time.
What I increasingly value at 45 isn’t just achievement. It’s freedom.
Time freedom.
The ability to be with the people I love.
The freedom to move my body and be outdoors.
The freedom to travel and have adventures.
The ability to create, build, and work on things that excite me.
The freedom to make ordinary days extraordinary.
Feeling healthy, happy, energized, and fully alive.
Magic is not necessarily about expensive things or extravagant experiences.
It’s about intentionally creating moments that feel special.
Making a random afternoon an adventure.
Spending time in nature.
Trying something you’ve never done.
Making memories with your kids.
Creating a home and environment that you love.
Having the energy and health to enjoy your life.
Building a daily routine you don’t constantly need to escape from.
You have to stop waiting for life to become extraordinary on its own.
Put adventures on the calendar.
Make time for the people who matter.
Prioritize health and fitness.
Eliminate obligations that aren’t serving you.
Build businesses and systems that support the life you want.
Stop automatically saying yes to things that consume your time.
Choose what matters and make room for it.
The most important question isn’t whether you’re living a successful life. It’s whether you’re living a life that feels successful to you.

The big takeaway:

You are allowed to want a life that looks completely different from the one you’ve been taught to want.

You are allowed to change your mind.

And you are allowed to decide that 45 is the beginning of an entirely new chapter.

I don’t want to look back and realize I spent decades becoming incredibly efficient at a life I never actually wanted.

I don’t want to just get through the next 45 years.

I want to make them magical.

⸻

NEVER QUIT, SO IT’S IMPOSSIBLE TO LOSE

The secret isn’t never failing. It’s never giving up on yourself.

We dramatically underestimate what we can accomplish if we simply refuse to stop trying.
A business that doesn’t work the first time.
A fitness goal that takes longer than expected.
A new habit that we struggle to maintain.
A project that needs to be completely reimagined.
A dream that requires years of effort.
None of these things mean we’re incapable of succeeding.
There is a difference between a setback and a final outcome.
One bad day doesn’t make a bad life.
One missed workout doesn’t make you unhealthy.
One failed business idea doesn’t make you a failed entrepreneur.
One disappointing result doesn’t determine your future.
You only turn a temporary setback into something permanent when you stop giving yourself opportunities to move forward.
What you want requires more than wanting it badly enough.
Dreams don’t become reality just because we think about them.
We have to take action.
Make decisions.
Develop skills.
Change habits.
Eliminate distractions.
Continue showing up when things are difficult or inconvenient.
Your daily actions need to match what you say matters most.
You can’t say health is your priority and never make time to move your body.
You can’t say family experiences are your priority and never make room for them.
You can’t say you want to build a business and continually avoid the uncomfortable work.
You can’t say freedom is your priority and fill every available hour with unnecessary obligations.
Your calendar, routines, and decisions should reflect the life you’re trying to create.
You don’t have to keep doing what isn’t working.
Never quitting doesn’t mean stubbornly repeating the same unsuccessful strategy.
It means being willing to change your approach.
You can pivot.
You can start over.
You can abandon a particular method without abandoning your bigger dream.
You can take time to recover without giving up on your future.
The ability to reset quickly is one of the most valuable skills you can develop.
Have a bad morning? Make it a great afternoon.
Miss a workout? Get back to it tomorrow.
Make a mistake? Learn from it and move forward.
Have a disappointing business result? Adjust your strategy.
Stop wasting days feeling defeated by something that happened in a single moment.
Consistency creates possibilities that motivation alone never will.
Small actions compound.
Keep showing up.
Keep learning.
Keep improving.
Keep doing the work when the excitement wears off.
Give yourself enough attempts to discover what actually works.
Confidence comes from trusting yourself to figure things out.
You don’t need to know exactly how everything will unfold.
You need to trust that you’re capable of learning and adapting.
You can survive disappointment.
You can overcome setbacks.
You can build new skills.
You can keep moving toward something better.
The next 45 years will not be perfect.
There will be challenges.
There will be disappointments.
There will be unexpected changes.
There will be things that take longer than planned.
There will be moments when I need to change direction entirely.
But none of those things mean I have to stop believing in what’s possible.

The big takeaway:

You don’t have to win every time you try.

You don’t have to get everything right.

You just have to keep giving yourself opportunities to succeed.

The goal isn’t to refuse to let go of anything. It’s to refuse to give up on yourself.

You can’t guarantee every outcome. But you can decide that setbacks won’t be the end of your story.

⸻


As I turn 45, these are the three things I want to carry with me into the next chapter of my life.

How lucky are we.

I want to notice the little things.

I want to appreciate the people I love, the body I get to live in, the opportunities I have, and the incredible privilege of getting to experience another day.

I want to remember that the life I’m living right now is filled with moments that I will someday wish I could experience again.

F normal. I want magic.

I want to question things.

I want to keep learning, exploring, reinventing, and trying new things.

I want to create businesses that excite me, spend time outdoors, move my body, travel, make memories, and design a life that gives me more freedom.

I don’t want to accept the idea that life is supposed to become less exciting as we get older.

I want the opposite.

I want to become healthier, stronger, wiser, more adventurous, and more intentional with every year.


Never quit, so it’s impossible to lose.

I want to keep showing up.

I want to pursue big goals and be willing to do hard things.

I want to fail without letting it destroy my confidence.

I want to change direction when I need to and continue moving forward.

And I want to teach my kids that they don’t have to be afraid of trying something difficult, because one unsuccessful attempt never defines their future.

Here’s what I keep coming back to:

Gratitude keeps me grounded.

Magic keeps me dreaming.

Persistence keeps me moving.

And all three are necessary.

Because I don’t just want to achieve more over the next 45 years.

I want to experience more.

I want to laugh more.

I want to move more.

I want to connect more.

I want to be outside more.

I want to have more adventures.

I want to take more chances.

I want to build things I’m proud of.

I want to be fully present for the people I love.

And I want to look back one day and know that I didn’t waste the incredible opportunity I was given.

I don’t need the next 45 years to be perfect.

I want them to be fully lived.

So here’s to 45.

Here’s to the next 45.

Here’s to appreciating what we have, having the courage to create what we want, and never giving up on ourselves along the way.

How lucky are we.

F normal. I want magic.

Never quit, so it’s impossible to lose.

The best years of our lives don’t have to be behind us.

We get to decide what we do with the years ahead.

And I plan to make mine extraordinary.