Today we are talking about something that I think we all need to know about… 

How to reset your dopamine.

And before you think this is going to be one of those extreme episodes where I tell you to throw your phone into the ocean, stop drinking coffee, sit in a dark room for three days and eliminate everything fun from your life…

That is absolutely not what we are doing.

Because dopamine isn't bad.

We need dopamine.

Dopamine is part of what makes us want things. Pursue things. Work toward goals. Get up and go.

The problem is that we are living in an environment where we can get enormous amounts of stimulation with almost zero effort.

Open Instagram.

Refresh your email.

Check likes.

Open TikTok.

Eat something hyper-palatable.

Buy something.

Get a notification.

Watch another episode.

Click another video.

Check your texts.

Pick up your phone because you have 17 seconds with nothing to do.

We have essentially eliminated boredom.

And I think we need to talk about what that is doing to us.

Because I don't think most people have a motivation problem.

I think some people have made normal life too boring compared to the stimulation they consume all day long.

Think about this.

Working toward a goal is slow.

Building a business is slow.

Getting stronger is slow.

Improving a relationship is slow.

Reading a book is slow.

Learning something difficult is slow.

But your phone can give you novelty every half second.

So what happens when your brain gets accustomed to incredibly stimulating rewards that require almost no effort?

The things that actually build an awesome life can start feeling painfully boring.

 

And THAT is what I want to change today.

I've been going deep into what Andrew Huberman, Chris Williamson, Stanford addiction psychiatrist Anna Lembke, Peter Attia and Gary Brecka have discussed around dopamine, reward, pleasure, discomfort and motivation.

And there is one massive theme that keeps coming up:

We need to stop getting so many rewards without earning them.

 

We need less cheap dopamine…

And more earned dopamine.

More accomplishment dopamine.

More anticipation.

More effort.

More challenge.

More doing hard things and feeling awesome afterward.

 

So today we're going to talk about what dopamine actually does, why our modern environment can completely screw with our motivation, what people mean by a dopamine reset, and most importantly…

How we actually do it.

Not forever.

Not perfectly.

But intentionally enough that normal life starts feeling interesting again.  

Because imagine waking up and actually WANTING to work on your goals.

Imagine sitting in your car without immediately opening your phone.

Imagine finishing a workout and letting that accomplishment be the reward instead of instantly needing another stimulus.

Imagine being fully engaged in dinner.

Or a conversation.

Or a walk.

Or your kids.

Or your work.

That's what we're after.

Not less enjoyment.

More enjoyment from the things that actually matter.

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FIRST… WHAT IS DOPAMINE?

Dopamine isn't simply the "pleasure chemical"

• This is probably the biggest misunderstanding.

• Dopamine plays a huge role in motivation, pursuit, learning, reinforcement and determining what your brain decides is worth pursuing again.

• Think less "this makes me happy" and more:
  "Go get that again."

• It's a molecule heavily involved in wanting and pursuing.

Huberman explains dopamine in terms of baseline and peaks

• You have a baseline level of dopamine.

• Then certain experiences generate temporary increases above that baseline.

• The important part is what happens afterward.

• A big dopamine peak can be followed by a period where dopamine activity falls below where it was previously.

• This is part of why something incredible can sometimes leave you feeling strangely flat afterward.

• The higher and more frequently we chase enormous peaks, the more ordinary activities can start losing their appeal.

Think about it like contrast

If you eat incredibly sweet processed foods all day…

A blueberry doesn't taste very sweet.

There isn't anything wrong with the blueberry.

Your reference point changed.

The same general concept applies here.

When your environment becomes filled with intense stimulation…

Quiet feels boring.

Reading feels boring.

Work feels boring.

Walking feels boring.

A normal conversation feels boring.

Your life didn't necessarily become boring.

Your stimulation threshold changed.

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WHAT I MEAN BY "CHEAP DOPAMINE"

I'm going to use the phrase cheap dopamine throughout this episode even though scientifically dopamine itself isn't cheap or expensive.

What I mean is:

A high-reward experience requiring very little effort.

Things like:

• Endless short-form videos

• Constant social media refreshing

• Notifications

• Online shopping

• Gambling

• Highly processed foods

• Video games for hours and hours

• Constant snacking

• Drinking

• Continually checking texts

• Refreshing email

• Internet rabbit holes

• Watching episode after episode after episode

• Constant novelty

And here's the key…

None of those things has to be inherently evil.

It's the dose.

The frequency.

And whether you've lost control over your consumption.

There's a massive difference between choosing to watch a movie on Saturday night…

And being literally unable to stand in an elevator for 25 seconds without checking your phone.

That's the part I want us to notice.

---

THE WORLD HAS REMOVED THE WAITING

This might be one of the biggest problems.

Almost everything used to have some friction.

You wanted food?

You cooked it.

You wanted entertainment?

You waited until your show came on.

You wanted to talk to your friend?

You called them.

Maybe they weren't home.

You wanted to buy something?

You drove somewhere.

You wanted information?

You found a book.

Now?

Everything is immediate.

Food.

Entertainment.

Shopping.

Attention.

Validation.

Communication.

Information.

Novelty.

Almost every human desire has an app attached to it.

And our brains evolved in an environment where rewards generally required work.

Now we can receive reward after reward while lying horizontally on the couch.

That is a massive mismatch.

---

THE PLEASURE-PAIN SEESAW

One of my favorite explanations comes from Dr. Anna Lembke.

She describes pleasure and pain almost like opposite sides of a balance.

When we repeatedly push hard toward pleasure…

Our brain tries to restore balance.

And over time, you may need more of the stimulus just to experience the same effect.

This is incredibly obvious with severe addiction.

But I think it's useful to recognize much milder versions in ourselves.

Have you ever:

Opened Instagram for five minutes and 45 minutes disappeared?

Finished a show and immediately needed another episode?

Finished dessert and started looking for something else sweet?

Checked one notification and then somehow checked four different apps?

Picked up your phone without consciously deciding to?

That automatic reaching is important.

You aren't necessarily choosing anymore.

You're responding.

And I want us to get back into choosing.

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WHY NOTHING FEELS EXCITING ANYMORE

Sometimes people say:

"I'm unmotivated."

"I don't feel like working."

"I can't concentrate."

"I'm bored."

"I don't really feel excited about anything."

Obviously there can be many medical, psychological and situational reasons for those feelings.

But there is another question worth asking:

How much stimulation are you consuming?

Because if you're exposing yourself to novelty constantly…

Your brain never gets a chance to be bored enough to create.

Never bored enough to think.

Never bored enough to solve a problem.

Never bored enough to decide what you actually want.

We're treating boredom like an emergency.

I actually think boredom is incredibly productive.

Some of my best ideas happen when there's nothing else coming into my brain.

And we are filling every single empty pocket.

 

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DOPAMINE STACKING

Huberman talks about something that I think is fascinating: stacking multiple dopamine-producing experiences together.

Think about a workout.

Exercise itself can be rewarding.

But now we add:

Pre-workout.

Favorite playlist.

Phone.

Texts.

Social media.

Energy drink.

Maybe stimulants.

Maybe a reward meal afterward.

Maybe we post the workout and check responses.

We've taken one intrinsically rewarding activity and stacked reward upon reward upon reward.

And his point isn't that you can never do those things.

It's that you don't necessarily want every good experience in life turned up to 100 every single time.

Sometimes train without the perfect playlist.

Sometimes walk without the podcast.

Sometimes drink the coffee without simultaneously scrolling Instagram.

Sometimes eat without watching television.

Separate the rewards.

You don't have to eliminate pleasure.

Stop supercharging every experience.

---

LEARN TO LOVE EFFORT

This might be my favorite part of the entire episode.

We need to stop making the reward exclusively something that comes AFTER the work.

"I'll work out and then I can have this."

"I'll finish this project and then I'll reward myself."

"I'll complete my work and then I'll scroll."

There's nothing wrong with celebrating accomplishments.

But we also want to train ourselves to associate the effort itself with something positive.

Because if the entire purpose of doing something difficult is the reward waiting at the end…

The work becomes something you're trying to escape.

Instead:

"This discomfort means I'm getting stronger."

"This is hard because I'm growing."

"I'm proud of myself for doing this when I don't feel like doing it."

"This is what keeping promises to myself feels like."

"This is who I am."

That shift is huge.

The workout becomes the win.

Doing the work becomes the win.

Keeping the promise becomes the win.

---

USE DISCOMFORT ON PURPOSE

This theme comes up across a lot of these conversations.

We're living in an unbelievably comfortable world.

Temperature-controlled houses.

Food everywhere.

Cars.

Couches.

Entertainment.

Delivery.

Escalators.

Amazon.

Everything is optimized to eliminate friction.

But voluntary discomfort can be incredibly valuable.

Exercise.

Walking.

Strength training.

Running.

Sauna.

Cold exposure when appropriate and done safely.

Doing something physically difficult.

Getting outside when conditions aren't perfect.

Taking the stairs.

Having the difficult conversation.

Doing the work you're avoiding.

The idea isn't:

"Suffering is good."

The idea is:

Stop organizing your entire life around avoiding discomfort.

Because challenge followed by satisfaction is very different from pleasure followed by emptiness.

One you earned.

One you consumed.

We need both fun and hard things.

But modern life has heavily tilted us toward consumption.

---

DON'T START YOUR DAY WITH OTHER PEOPLE'S DOPAMINE

Here's something I think would change a lot of people's lives.

Do not roll over and immediately hand your brain to your phone.

Because instantly you've got:

Texts.

News.

Instagram.

Email.

TikTok.

Other people's emergencies.

Other people's opinions.

Other people's lives.

Other people's accomplishments.

Other people's bodies.

Other people's vacations.

Other people's businesses.

Other people's problems.

Before you've even decided what YOU want your day to look like.

I would rather protect that first part of the morning.

Wake up.

Water.

Sunlight.

Walk.

Workout.

Journal.

Think.

Plan.

Work.

Whatever your routine is.

Just don't immediately flood your brain with novelty.

You should decide the direction of your day before an algorithm decides it for you.

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THE 2.0 DOPAMINE RESET

Okay.

Here is what I would actually do.

Not some insane internet detox.

A realistic reset.

RULE #1: Identify YOUR cheap dopamine

Ask yourself:

What do I compulsively reach for?

Not what does the internet tell me is bad.

What has control over ME?

Maybe yours is:

Instagram.

TikTok.

Shopping.

Sugar.

Video games.

News.

YouTube.

Email.

Texting.

Something else.

Identify the top one or two.

Don't try to become a monk overnight.

---

RULE #2: Take a meaningful break from the biggest offender

If something truly feels compulsive, consider taking a real period away from it rather than constantly trying to moderate it.

Try deleting it for a week.

Maybe two.

Maybe 30 days.

See what happens.

You might be shocked by how often your hand reaches for an app that isn't there.

That's valuable information.

---

RULE #3: Stop filling every gap

This is a HUGE one.

We're bringing back empty space.

Stand in line.

Just stand there.

Drive five minutes.

No podcast.

Walk around the block.

No headphones.

Sit outside.

Do nothing.

Take a shower without content playing.

Cook dinner without a video.

You are retraining yourself to tolerate a lower level of stimulation.

And here's the funny thing…

After a while it doesn't feel low stimulation.

It feels peaceful.

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RULE #4: Create phone-free zones

Pick places where your phone does not belong.

Examples:

• Bedroom

• Dinner table

• Gym

• Family time

• Bathroom

• First hour of the morning

• Last hour before bed

Don't rely purely on willpower.

Change your environment.

Leave the phone somewhere else.

Make the bad habit inconvenient.

---

RULE #5: Turn off almost every notification

Notifications are someone else deciding when your attention moves.

Think about that.

Unless something legitimately requires immediate attention…

Turn it off.

---

RULE #6: Stop stacking everything

Coffee + Instagram + television + food + texting?

No.

Pick one.

Workout + podcast + scrolling between sets + energy drink + Instagram?

Simplify it.

Let an experience stand alone.

Food can just be food.

Coffee can just be coffee.

A walk can just be a walk.

A conversation can just be a conversation.

---

RULE #7: Get your dopamine through pursuit

This is the big replacement strategy.

You can't just remove things.

You need better things to move toward.

Exercise.

Building something.

Learning.

Working.

Creating.

Sports.

Relationships.

Adventure.

Goals.

Competition.

Skill.

Experiences.

Meaningful challenges.

Get obsessed with something difficult.

That is completely different than being addicted to consumption.

---

RULE #8: Do one hard thing every day

I love this rule.

Every day, intentionally do something that you'd rather avoid.

Workout hard.

Make the phone call.

Send the proposal.

Clean the closet.

Have the conversation.

Finish the project.

Run the hill.

Get into the cold water if that's safe for you.

Walk when you'd rather sit.

Do the thing you've been procrastinating.

You start creating evidence:

"I don't have to feel like doing something in order to do it."

That is power.

---

RULE #9: Prioritize sleep

Your brain isn't operating independently of your body.

If you're chronically sleep-deprived, everything becomes harder.

Motivation.

Impulse control.

Training.

Food choices.

Emotional regulation.

Focus.

Peter Attia and Huberman both hammer sleep for a reason.

If we're trying to optimize our brain while sleeping five hours…

We're focusing on the wrong end of the problem.

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RULE #10: Morning sunlight and movement

Huberman talks frequently about getting outdoor light early in the day to anchor your circadian system.

I love pairing that with movement.

Outside.

Walk.

Light.

No Instagram.

Let your nervous system wake up naturally.

It's incredibly simple.

And simple things done repeatedly tend to beat complicated hacks.

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THE 24-HOUR CHALLENGE

Here is your challenge.

For the next 24 hours:

• No phone for the first 30 minutes after waking.

• No social media until you've completed something productive.

• Turn off unnecessary notifications.

• No phone while eating.

• Take one walk without headphones.

• Do one difficult thing you've been avoiding.

• No double-screening. If you're watching TV, you're not also scrolling.

• Put your phone outside your bedroom tonight.

• Let yourself experience boredom.

• Notice every time you instinctively reach for stimulation.

Don't judge yourself.

Observe yourself.

Because awareness is the beginning of changing anything.

---

THEN TRY SEVEN DAYS

Now let's level it up.

For seven days:

Reduce your biggest cheap-dopamine behavior dramatically.

You don't need to eliminate all pleasure.

In fact, please don't.

Go to dinner.

Laugh.

Drink your coffee.

Listen to music.

Hang with friends.

Enjoy your life.

This isn't punishment.

We're trying to reclaim our ability to enjoy NORMAL things.

That's the goal.

Less artificial stimulation.

More real life.

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ASK YOURSELF THIS QUESTION

Before you reach for something, ask:

Am I choosing this, or am I escaping something?

That question can completely change things.

Why am I opening Instagram?

Because I intentionally decided to spend 15 minutes enjoying it?

Fine.

Or because this task got difficult?

Why am I eating this?

Because I'm hungry and I want it?

Fine.

Or because I'm uncomfortable?

Why am I drinking?

Because I'm celebrating with friends?

Or because I can't tolerate sitting with how I feel?

Why am I checking email for the 47th time?

Because I'm waiting for something important?

Or because working on the project in front of me is harder?

That pause between impulse and behavior…

That's where your power is.

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CHEAP DOPAMINE VS EARNED DOPAMINE

This is the easiest way I can summarize the episode.

Cheap dopamine:

Consume.

Scroll.

Click.

Watch.

Refresh.

Snack.

Buy.

Escape.

Earned dopamine:

Build.

Train.

Create.

Learn.

Connect.

Explore.

Compete.

Finish.

Accomplish.

The first category isn't evil.

But if the balance of your life is overwhelmingly consumption…

Don't be surprised when your motivation disappears.

Shift the ratio.

More creating.

Less consuming.

More doing.

Less watching.

More participating.

Less observing.

More real life.

Less digital life.

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WE NEED ANTICIPATION BACK

I think anticipation is disappearing.

When everything is immediately available…

There's nothing to look forward to.

And looking forward to something is part of the fun.

Plan the trip.

Wait for Friday night.

Save the amazing dessert for dinner.

Don't buy everything the second you want it.

Put the concert on the calendar.

Build toward the race.

Earn the reward.

Delay things intentionally sometimes.

The waiting isn't ruining the experience.

The waiting IS part of the experience.

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YOUR LIFE SHOULD NOT NEED CONSTANT ENTERTAINMENT

This might be the line I want you to remember.

You should not need to be entertained every minute in order to enjoy your life.

Your kids shouldn't either.

We need boring car rides.

We need afternoons with nothing scheduled.

We need conversations without phones.

We need walks.

We need staring out the freaking window.

We need thinking.

We need daydreaming.

We need opportunities for our brains to say:

"Okay… what should we do?"

Creativity often appears after the stimulation disappears.

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THE GOAL IS NOT LOWER DOPAMINE

This is important.

We're not trying to crush dopamine.

We're not trying to become emotionless.

We're not trying to avoid things that make us feel amazing.

We're trying to protect our ability to feel amazing.

That's different.

We want the vacation to feel incredible.

The concert.

The accomplishment.

The amazing dinner.

The business win.

The race.

The adventure.

The hug.

The goal.

The experience.

We just don't need to manufacture an artificial mini-version of that feeling 800 times between breakfast and lunch.

Leave some room.

Let your baseline exist without constantly smashing the stimulation button.

---

 

Here's what I think is so interesting about all of this.

We have designed a world where almost everything that used to require effort can now be accessed instantly.

And that sounds like freedom.

But if we're not careful…

Convenience becomes dependence.

Entertainment becomes distraction.

Pleasure becomes compulsion.

And access becomes addiction.

The answer isn't to reject modern life.

I'm certainly not giving up my phone.

I'm not giving up coffee.

I'm not giving up Instagram.

I'm not giving up amazing food or concerts or trips or all the fun things.

I want MORE life.

That's actually the entire point.

I don't want to spend my life looking down at a screen getting tiny rewards when there are enormous rewards available by actually participating in life.

I want the dopamine from doing the workout I didn't want to do.

Building the business.

Taking the trip.

Making the memory.

Trying something new.

Getting really freaking good at something.

Having an amazing conversation.

Being completely present with my kids.

Creating something I'm proud of.

Doing something hard.

That's the dopamine I want more of.

And maybe the simplest takeaway from this whole episode is this:

Stop making pleasure so easy and effort so optional.

Let yourself work for things.

Let yourself wait for things.

Let yourself be bored.

Let yourself struggle.

Let yourself anticipate.

Let yourself earn some of the really good feelings.

Because when we stop trying to make every moment maximally stimulating…

Something really cool happens.

Normal life starts becoming awesome again.

And that is how to be awesome at resetting your dopamine.