337. How To Be Awesome At Being A Wife Who Says Yes

I hesitate to give any awesome tips on marriage or parenting because just when I think I have something fully figured out it flips!  But this one is good I promise. 

 

How To Be Awesome At Being A Wife Who Says Yes 

 

Can I go golfing mid day tomorrow?  Yes

Can I go to a movie last minute with the boys tonight? Yes 

 

If it’s not potentially dangerous or disrespectful, my answer is yes!  

 

 

I even say yes if its irritating… and I think you should too.

Boys night tonight when you weren’t expecting it and you’re tired and you’ll have to do more… irritating ya…. But thats not a reason to say he can't do it. 

 

It’s just so good for your relationship when you are a yes wife rather than a no wife. 

 

I want you to be happy and do what you want 

 

We want our men to feel like we support what they love.

We aren’t bossing them around and shutting down what they really want to do. 

 

Because that’s how we want it to be for us too!  We’re not doing it SO THAT we get it in return, but we will! 

 

 

 

Points we talk about! 

 

A “yes” that comes from generosity, not obligation, has power. It communicates confidence and emotional security.

 

-If we want to say no, ask ourselves why! 

May be a sign you need more of something in some area of life. 

Make note a bring it up - not heated and not in this moment.

Later say something like… “I’m so happy you had fun. It made me realize I’m not doing enough with my friends or making time for workouts."

 

-We haven’t always been at this point!!

Now my husband is responsible and super respectful and makes good decisions so it makes it easy for me to say yes. 

When he wasn’t I couldn’t do this!  

 

-The Psychology behind saying yes

You’re showing trust and respect 

 

 

It’s not about keeping score 

By giving this freedom, you are showing emotional generosity 

Most people reciprocate from a place of gratitude 

 

 

You now when you get any YES in life you’re like F ya!! 

Let’s goooo 

Give them that joy! 

 

 

Give them a hell yes, not just a yes 

And don't give them a lecture then a yes 

 

 

Some thoughts from experts!

Dr. Terri Orbuch & The Power of Allowing Individuality

Core idea: Long-term happiness comes from letting each person continue to grow individually.

• In her 28-year study on marriage, Dr. Orbuch found that happy couples maintain what she calls “self-expansion”... encouraging each other’s separate interests.

• Saying yes allows your partner to explore and come back to the relationship with new energy, stories, and confidence.
   “Encouraging your partner’s personal growth is one of the strongest predictors of long-term happiness.” Dr. Terri Orbuch

Dr. Jordan Peterson & Mutual Responsibility & Trust

Core idea: Healthy relationships are based on voluntary cooperation, not control.

• Peterson often talks about how resentment builds when one partner becomes too controlling.

• He frames marriage as a partnership of two competent adults who choose each other daily. Saying yes reinforces that mutual trust and equality.
  Quote to use: “A relationship is a negotiation between two people who are aiming for the best in one another.”  Jordan Peterson

 

Dr. Gary Chapman & The 5 Love Languages

Core idea: Saying yes is a form of acts of service and words of affirmation rolled into one.

• For many people, feeling trusted and supported is their love language.

• When you say, “Sure, have fun,” you’re affirming love in a way that communicates emotional generosity.
  Quote to use: “Love is a choice you make every day.”  Gary Chapman

• Jay Shetty & The Energy of Giving

  Core idea: Giving without keeping score creates peace and attraction.

  • In 8 Rules of Love, Shetty teaches that generosity is the most sustainable foundation for partnership.

  • When you say yes because you want to, not because you have to, you change the emotional tone of your marriage.
    👉 Quote to use: “Love doesn’t demand, it expands.”  Jay Shetty