336. How To Be Awesome When Someone Is A Jerk To You

You’re going to love this podcast episode so much that you’re going to look forward to the next time someone is a jerk to you. 


Because we are programming ourselves to be ready for it today!  The next time someone says something rude or belittles you… you’re ready for it with the best ever responses.

Let’s use an example of something that was said to me last weekend… I was at a party and a girl came up to me with the oddest tone and said… 
"I like your dress.  My favorite look is a desperate housewife"

Ready for the response? 
You take one confident breath and you say, “did you say that to try to hurt me?”

Or another option, a confident laugh and then, “can you say that again?”

It’s SO GOOD!   

I learned this from trial attorney Jefferson Fisher and it’s honestly changed the way I respond to things.  I don’t absorb their emotion or their story… my response is all mine…. I’m not letting them hijack my emotional state. 

  • Pause, breathe, regain control

    • Use silence and a deep breath before responding.

    • Silence makes the other person sit with their words and prevents you from reacting impulsively.

    • Your breath is your pause button against fight-or-flight reactions.

  • Don’t absorb their negativity

    • You don’t have to internalize or validate rude behavior.

    • Your dignity is preserved by staying calm and detached.

  • Ask clarifying or exposing questions

    • “Can you repeat that?” / “Can you say that again?”

    • “Did you say that to try to hurt me?”

    • These questions force the other person to either own or retract their words, shifting control back to you.

  • Use fewer words; be precise

    • Keep your response short, clear, and confident.

    • Don’t over-explain or justify yourself.

    • A crisp question or boundary carries more weight than a long defense.

  • If they escalate further: disengage calmly.

  • If it’s someone powerful (boss, authority): ask respectfully, e.g. “Can you help me understand what you meant by that?”

  • If you freeze or can’t think of what to say: your default safe move is pause + “Can you repeat that?”

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