284. How To Be Awesome At REALLY Not Caring What People Think

You want to know the craziest thing about worrying what other people think of you?  With the amount of time and energy you spend worrying about what people might think if you do this or that, you could actually DO the thing.  
You take control back of your life and your choices when you’re making them based on what you really want and what feels best to you. 
You’ll take more risks, try new things and put yourself out there.
Because we know that one day we will be 90 and we won’t have the opportunities that we have today, we just won’t.  Thinking about it that way makes it a lot less scary to let it go and go for it. 
And another awesome thing that happens when you go for it and people do talk about you, it makes it easy… those aren’t your people.  Thank you for saving me the time. 
And also thank you for making it clear where we’re at because I know that nobody ahead of me is taking the time to criticize me. 
This concept of, stop caring about what other people think is easier said than done.  Today I’m giving you two awesome hacks to start today, to work towards the ultimate feeling of freedom- not caring what other people think of you. 
A few notes from this episode… 
-You only have so much energy - you could have actually done the thing!! Started the business, tried the new thing…. In the same effort it took to worry what would happen if you did. 
-The upside of never trying is that you never have to feel the feeling of failure.
-I will ensure my failure in private so I never have to risk failing in public. 
They take the long failure rather than the short one. 
-We aren’t afraid of failing!  We are afraid of what other people think of us failing. Imagine what other people are thinking if you aren’t doing anything, oh that’s right, they’re not. 
-If you could fail in isolation, you wouldn’t care. 
-If you’re insecure, you might as well use it to get something out of it.
-The perfect condition is wherever you are at right now.
If you feel like you have nothing, then you have nothing to lose. 
There is always an advantage and disadvantage from every position. 
-They won’t think of you at all if you aren’t doing anything and don't you want to be thought of?
-You’re going to be 90. And it’s going to be too late to do anything.
-You know I love thinking about my 90 year old self.  
If you’ve spent time with old people, they don’t give an F- in the best way. They are wearing socks with sandals in the way they want, they are 
-Seeing someone old and no time to do the things is the only motivation I need. 
-You know how you get good?  You just start doing what you want without the fear of judgment.  Like one tiny thing. 
Like if music comes on at an outdoor restaurant and you think about dancing with your little kid because how sweet but you don’t because nobody else is and people might think you are weird. 
But doing things that other people aren’t doing - usually means it’s actually a good idea but 66% of people say they are unhappy.
-So not doing it because other people aren’t isn’t the right plan!!
-Here’s the hacks!!  
1.ONE. TINY. THING.  And then you see that you don’t die. And you had fun dancing and just doing what you wanted. 
Or wearing something different than everyone else because it’s comfortable and you love how it feels… and then it’s just fine.
You build momentum!!
2.  You make it a clear priority and remind yourself often. 
Journal it, calendar it, write it down. 
The more you make it a priority to work towards, the faster you will get there. 
-Here’s another thing - call out your fails.  Now what can they say.
-AGREE when someone says something you didn’t do right.  Takes the fire out of it.
-OR agree just to end it. Who cares!?
-Their response to you just doesn’t involve you honestly. It’s their own perspective based on their experiences and opinions and it just doesn’t have to affect yours. 
-What’s the worst that can happen?   You don’t actually die of embarrassment it’s actually ok. We move on. 
-And I’ve really learned that leaning into vulnerably is such a strong thing.  Ya, that thing totally flopped.  But it’s cool I know so much more now and I’m so pumped on my next adventure.  We accept it and move on, NEXT PLAY! 
A few other tips! 
  1. -Identify your values: Clarify what truly matters to you and what you stand for. When you live in alignment with your values, you'll be less swayed by others' opinions.
  2. -Focus on your strengths: Recognize your talents, skills, and accomplishments. Embrace them and use them to boost your confidence.
  3. -Practice self-acceptance: Acknowledge and accept your flaws and imperfections. Nobody is perfect, and embracing your humanity can help you be less concerned about others' judgments.
  4. -Set boundaries: Establish clear boundaries to protect your emotional well-being. Learn to say no when necessary and prioritize your own needs.
  5. -Challenge negative beliefs: Examine any negative beliefs you have about yourself that may be fueling your concern for others' opinions. Replace them with more empowering beliefs.
  6. -Develop a strong self-image: Visualize yourself as confident, capable, and resilient. Act as if you already possess these qualities, and eventually, they will become part of your reality.
  7. -Surround yourself with supportive people: Surround yourself with individuals who uplift and encourage you. Their positive reinforcement can help counteract any negativity from others.
  8. -Practice self-care: Take care of your physical, emotional, and mental well-being. Engage in activities that nurture your body and soul, such as exercise, meditation, hobbies, and spending time with loved ones.
  9. -Focus on your goals: Stay focused on your goals and aspirations. When you have a clear sense of purpose, the opinions of others become less significant in comparison to your pursuit of fulfillment.
This is not an overnight thing!! Building resilience against others' opinions is a gradual process that requires consistent effort and self-reflection. By using these strategies, you can gradually reduce the impact of external judgments on your self-esteem and live more authentically.