278. How To Be Awesome When Someone Comes At You

I don't know what’s going on lately but I feel like I’ve been in several situations where someone is coming at me and I’ve had some friends who have had to deal with some pretty wild situations so I thought, yup, this needs to be a podcast episode.

Let’s define some terms.
By coming at you I mean - verbally trying to start something.
It’s different than an argument because it’s like someone having a problem with you or just straight up casting judgment on you.

Our instant reaction is to respond and defend ourselves or get hot with them back… but here’s the thing, most of the time, it’s just not worth it.

So I think before we do anything we should ask ourselves, what would I gain from engaging?

We often respond out of emotion, but because we know our priority is protecting our happy headspace and our emotional energy, I think we need to approach it differently.

We are going through some awesome strategies today so the next time someone comes at you, you’re ready to handle it strategically rather than emotionally.


When this happens, here are your options…

1.  IGNORE
Literally say nothing.  Don't reply to the email or text or DM or walk away if in person.

2.  AGREE - it ends it!!
When you don't want to engage or if there is truth to what they are saying.
When we are insulted, pay attention to it.
If there is something  that is true to it - then agree. And move on.

3. HASH IT OUT - onlyyyyyy if it’s really worth it!
Only if it’s someone in your inner circle that you love.
90% of the time, it’s not worth it.

Alex Hormozi says
"The only insults that hurt are the ones we believe.”

I tell myself…
I don’t negotiate with terrorists.


When you get REALLY good at this… it becomes so powerful because it doesn’t affect you for more than a few minutes.

It’s almost additive because it feels so good to be able to control your emotions and you always win in the situation.

You can’t negotiate with crazy so don’t try- there’s no point!

It’s awesome and it saves you so much unnecessary headaches!!
Remember this the next time someone comes at you, take a minute and decide how you want to really handle it.
Have an awesome day!!